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10-Apr-2020 05:03

Consequently, he accumulates an assortment of people (Narcissistic Supply) he can turn to whenever he has a need for them.These people, also called the Narcissistic harem, mainly consist of ex-girlfriends, potential girlfriends and women who wish to be his girlfriend.His actions at best are showing you that he has a massive fear of commitment and that he can’t make up his mind whether to stay or go.At worst it shows a user mentality and someone that likes to keep his options open.The harem can also be comprised of co-workers, family and friends, basically anyone, who the Narcissist deems a good audience for his wit and who will willingly boost up his self-esteem and sense of superiority, by putting him up on a pedestal – anybody, he can turn to for attention, sex, money, or anything he may need. The Harem A couple of years ago I briefly dated, ‘guy with a harem.’ Guy with a harem explained to me that most of his friends were women.I didn’t find that odd at first…until I noticed that more than eighty percent of the people on his Facebook were women ‘friends.’ I was the fresh meat, getting the lion’s share of his attention and what I sensed right off the bat was that these women were very territorial.If you’ve typically been a Fallback option, it’s best to steer clear of these situations unless you’re absolutely certain that whatever contributed to your previous habits has now changed.In the end, it’s about because a person can have gone through a number of dubious relationship experiences and then gone through a period of personal growth and their current and future behaviour reflects their healthier habits of thinking and behaviour. Baggage Reclaim is a guide to learning to live and love with self-esteem by breaking the patterns that stand in your way.

Let’s be honest, a jealous woman can be incredibly devious and catty and guy with a harem, needing to be constantly reassured, would run to these ‘friends,’ and since they wanted me out of the picture their advice was always unflattering and self-serving. I had three or four of them send me friend requests on Facebook, looking to snoop into my life, hoping to dig up some kind of dirt.We can take the period of time since the breakup into account but we also need to note whether actions matching words are amounting to somebody who is available for a mutual, consistent, balanced (no pedestals / controlling), progressing relationship that can blossom into increasing intimacy and commitment. It’s very easy to look at a person’s age, background, what they earn, their relationship history, their appearance, their divorce, and whatever else we’re focusing on, and rule them in or out on this basis, but in the end, regardless of any of these things, we still have to assess our own boundaries and do the due diligence. If you typically struggle with the uncertainty that comes with being with somebody who still has their previous relationship to resolve, or you know based on experience that you’ve had your fingers burned by being involved with separated or recently broken up people, don’t go there.spend with a person means that we get to see if actions and words match and whether what we thought or they suggested was on the cards is actually happening. A person cannot promise not to hurt you or that their marriage breaking up isn’t going to affect you hence if the possibility of either of these happening sends fear ripping through you, know your own boundaries instead of playing the breakup slot machine again. ‘Recent’ is of course subjective but it’s safe to say that if you become involved with someone who is weeks or even days out of their prior relationship, you’re gonna get some blowback.I’m not saying men and women can’t be ‘just’ friends, but that distinction happens only when both parties have absolutely no interest in being together. With their charm they can usually swoop any woman off their feet, but their specialty lies in their ability to keep women hanging on. Sussing out those that are overly giving, that rationalize and make excuses for other people’s bad behavior and those that the Narcissist has successfully managed down their expectations, so that they treat every little nugget of attention like a lottery winning.

I recall speaking to a woman, who was involved with the very last Narcissist I dated and she told me that after our Narcissist had hurt her again and again, by constantly blowing hot and cold and making it quite clear that he was never going to give her the relationship that she wanted, she had actually offered to be ‘friends with benefits,’ and even went so far as to tell him that, no guy would ever match up to him.I know we all want to be the winner, where all other women have failed, but the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior.



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